Funeral dress codes are changing. From bright colours to casual wear and themed outfits, here's how clothing is becoming a meaningful way to personalise a final goodbye.
Once upon a time, funeral dress codes were simple: black, formal, and not up for discussion. But that’s changing. These days, more and more people are stepping away from tradition and choosing funeral outfits that feel right for the person they’re saying goodbye to.
As a busy funeral celebrant, I’ve seen everything from football shirts to bright colour themes, and I love it. In this blog, I’ll share how funeral dress codes are evolving, the growing role of personalisation in modern funerals, and some of my favourite real-life examples.
In the past, funeral ceremonies tended to be more structured and formulaic, with the name of the person who died and perhaps a short eulogy read by someone close. But the rise in popularity of celebrant-led funerals has changed that, along with generational shifts and evolving attitudes.
A great celebrant, whether a civil celebrant or a Humanist funeral celebrant, will work with a family to establish the tone, how the ceremony should feel, and all the ways it can be personalised to feel right to the person who has died. That shift has paved the way for more Celebration of Life dress code ceremonies – uplifting, personal, and still full of space for reflection.
Funeral dress codes are loosening up, with many people now choosing ‘smart casual’ looks and wearing something they already own – easier on the planet and the wallet.
As attitudes towards children and grief evolve, children are far more commonplace at funerals, as we better understand the importance of giving them closure and an opportunity to say goodbye. Most people who bring their little ones to funerals aspire for this to be a positive experience overall, so ensuring they feel comfortable is more important than adhering to a narrow and formal dress code.
One dress code I love is when families say, simply, ‘wear whatever you’re comfortable in.’ It’s part of a growing trend towards more personal funeral ceremonies, where clothing, just like the ceremony itself, tells a story. This gives people the freedom to dress up if they want to – or not – and avoids anyone feeling out of place without a black suit in the wardrobe.
A more casual dress code brings a more relaxed and intimate tone. Importantly, it’s also very inclusive, for youngsters, or those with different sensory needs, and can help them feel more comfortable on the day itself.
Another popular choice is asking people to wear bright colours or avoid black altogether – to dress for joy. It sets a celebratory tone that often carries through to the wake and beyond.
And then there are the specifics. Thinking back to funerals I’ve worked on recently, Coral’s family asked people to wear a splash of orange. At Craig’s, it was blue - a nod to his favourite football team, Everton. Sandra was obsessed with buying sunglasses, and her family handed out Sandra’s collection as people came into the chapel, for people to wear. Jonny’s funeral had a casual, green and Pokemon theme, and seeing the chapel packed to the rafters with every shade of green under the sun was a sight to behold. There was a little one of 3 or 4 years old who came in a Pikachu onesie, which was a really lovely touch.
I’m working with Alison, who has pre-planned her funeral, and whilst she’s not stipulated what people should wear, she has included in her wishes is that no-one should buy anything new to wear to her funeral: they must wear something they already have in their wardrobe, as this is in keeping with her values about sustainability and looking after the planet.
In planning meetings, I always make a point of asking the family if they have any thoughts on dress codes. I do this for two reasons - firstly, to make sure it’s something they’ve thought about and been given the option to personalise, and secondly, to make sure that if there are specific requests, that I can do my best to be in keeping with them. As a celebrant, it’s part of my job to help guide the feel of the day, and that includes the funeral dress code if the family wants to set one.
With a little help from Vinted, I’ve developed a colourful wardrobe with most colours of the rainbow covered - whether it be a blazer, a top underneath, or brightly coloured shoes. When it came to Jonny’s funeral, I bought a £3 t-shirt from Vinted, which my kids mistakingly thought was for them. After the funeral, they were very happy to take the tee off my hands.
Funeral Directors and Bearers in formal attire will sometimes change the colour of their ties to match the colour scheme, which is a subtle, but thoughtful nod. Some, like Angladdau Enfys Funerals do, with the family’s blessing, opt for brightly coloured dresses instead of more formal attire. The picture at the top of this blog is Funeral Directors Manon and Louise from a funeral we worked together on in summer.
Whether you’re planning a funeral or attending one, here are some simple tips for navigating or setting a dress code that feels personal and thoughtful.
If you’re planning a funeral and would like to have a dress code, my top tip would be to let people know early. When you communicate the day and time of the ceremony, whether that’s in a traditional funeral notice in the newspaper, an online notice, on social media, or messaged directly, make sure to include the dress code details.
I find it respectful to let people know it’s an option, not an instruction. It can be kind to be clear and not vague with your intentions too.
So instead of “no black”, perhaps say “people are welcome to wear something bright and colourful to remember Jane”. This gives people space to decide whether a colourful scarf feels more comfortable than coming dressed in every colour of the rainbow.
Instead of “smart casual”, perhaps say “we’re wearing jeans - you’re welcome to wear whatever you’re comfortable in”.
And if you’re the one going to the funeral? My advice would be - don’t overthink it. It’s highly likely the family are going to be honoured you’ve taken the time to be there to celebrate the person that’s died, and are unlikely to think twice about the fact that you wore black trousers at a funeral that asked people to wear “no black”.
…Because when it comes down to it, funeral outfit ideas are a way for people to feel like they’ve come together to celebrate a life and honour a person, rather than being something that divides us further. It’s OK to ask if you’re unsure, but the most important thing is that you’re there.
As a celebrant, I think that dress codes can play a really important part in setting the tone and making people feel like they’ve come together. It can go a long way to making a personal funeral ceremony feel celebratory, unique and one of a kind.
When it comes to my own funeral plans? I haven’t stipulated a specific dress code, but for me, the less formal, more joyful end of the spectrum is where I’d sit.
Clothes don’t make the ceremony – but they can be a lovely part of it.If you’re planing a funeral and want help crafting something really personal - including the dress code - I’d love to help.
